Confidence while learning

This topic came in via a former mentee who I adore. She is an astoundingly motivated #STEMwoman and I hope I do her question justice.

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"...how to deal with being self conscious because [you] are aware of how much you don't know and no matter how much you study there's always more, more, more..."

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This is a great question for many reasons, but let's cover the three that I hope will resonate the most with everyone out there who is starting something new.

First of all, none of us are experts at everything.

If you are growing as a person, as a scientist, or as member of society then there are always new things to learn and old things to understand better. I am a strong believer that teaching is learning. Every time I share an idea or protocol with someone I learn more about the process. Questions from a trainee help the mentor focus a lesson and clarify the description of a concept. We all want to be experts, but I have seen PIs who are renown as "experts in their field" left in the dust as new concepts pass them by.

Do not let the need to be seen as well versed on a topic or in a field blind you to the fact that true experts only stay that way if they continue to learn and evolve.

Secondly, it is okay to not know everything.

As a trainee there is often a negative connotation with admitting that you are learning or that you do not know something. Let me be honest with you, a lot of that implied "you should know this already" attitude stems from people who do not want to take the time to help and people who are using handwaving to cover for the fact that they do not know either. Dogma is a scary thing because it allows us to accept an idea without challenge. However, the best ideas tend to come from those who didn't just accept a concept. Questioning everything is how we will learn the most and find the most novel answers to our questions.

I appreciate that not everyone sees "new" as an opportunity, but if you can train yourself to see learning as a challenge rather than a failure then you are on the right track. I promise!

Finally, remember that learning is for you not for them.

I chose to go into the field of science because I wanted to work in a world where new information would be abundant and I would be expected to continue learning even after I left school. As an undergrad I was terrified that I might be bored in whatever career I ended up in. This was very naive of me. Every topic changes and expands at a breath taking speed. What I knew about biology in high school was only in preparation for what I would learn in college, college was only a stepping stone for what I would learn in grad school, and grad school was only a start for what I would learn once I joined a company. If you set the expectations for what you want to accomplish and what you are trying to learn then you will be more driven to discover those answers and less embarrassed to ask the necessary questions.

Even though I was one of the people who wanted to go to college to learn, not make money *sigh*, I was always terrified to ask questions during lectures. I would wait till the class cleared out then talk to the teacher. It wasn't until I started to teach labs that I realized how backward this thinking was. I can remember teachers asking the class "Does anyone have any questions?" and thinking "Yes, soooo many!" but not speaking up. When it was my turn to teach a lab or train a new user on a protocol I saw the same worried looks in the trainees eyes that must have been in mine. So I tried a different approach, "Can anyone explain it back to me in their own words?"

Try to surround yourself with people who invite questions and want you to keep learning at your own pace.

Beware but stay confident.

I want to prepare you now that while this mindset, learning is great and questions are wonderful, works in classroom settings I have come across people in real life that have used my passion for knowledge against me. It was used to hold me to long work hours and make me feel like I had to over extend myself to stay competitive in grad school and during my postdoc. I can tell you now, looking back on those times, that confidence would have been a major help for me. I was unsure of myself each time I took on a learning challenge, and that left me in a vulnerable place. It wasn't until I felt like I had enough knowledge to lean on that I finally found a confident place to stand, but the damage had been done. By constantly doubting myself my PIs had began to doubt me too.

So my advice is find something that makes you feel confident and bring that to your new lab, new job, or new field. Bring this confidence with you while you challenge yourself to learn something new.

Do not let people use your love of learning against you!